SCENE 1:
Noah builds the worlds first cruise liner for animals
It is morning, birds call, RUSSEL rises from slumber next to his wife. Though aged 600, he looks a mere 300. His body has withered into a wrinkled husk of a man, contracting to a dry form the size of a 6 year old child. He dreams of rain, so that with moisture his dry, old skin may be refreshed. There is an extended dream scene, perhaps of a cornfield in a deluge.
RUSSEL: WIFE, I SHALL BUILD AN ARK, FETCH ME TIMERS.
Wife: Noah, you are mad, it has not rained here for many a cursed year
RUSSEL: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Wife: Oh No(ah), not again (Laugh Track)
RUSSEL: Whatever comes through those gates….
Wife: I’ll fetch some wood
* * *
An Ark is built, the world floods, RUSSEL sets loose a dove
Scene 30
RUSSEL: Fly, my pretty, fly!
Enter Commodus, dressed as a dove
Commodus: Caw, Caw
RUSSEL: Dove, find me land, or a tree that lo I may perch my boat upon it.
Commodus: Caw, Caw
Exit Commodus, Play montage of RUSSEL looking hopefully out over a wild sea. The rains have made him young again, perhaps there is a scene in a corn field. Commodus returns with a branch
Commodus: Caw, Caw
RUSSEL: A BRANCH, I CAN USE THIS TO AVENGE MY FAMILY, BUT FIRST, WINE
Together RUSSEL and Commodus get progressively inebriated, until their clothes fall off, exposing their nakedness. Enter Ham.
Ham: Egads, father, your nakedness, I shall avert mine eyes (He does so)
RUSSEL: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Ham: Here father, Shem and I will cover thee
RUSSEL: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Advancing backwards, Ham and Shem cover RUSSEL. Commodus flies off, only to be caught on an overhead power line. He explodes.
RUSSEL: Son, Son….
Ham: Yes father?
RUSSEL: You covered my nakedness, son
Ham: I know, father
RUSSEL: I curse you, son
Ham: What?
RUSSEL: I curse you in the name of Jesus. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Ham: Father, you are drunk
RUSSEL: Son, I never loved you, you were always a dissapointment. I am not your father
Ham: No, father, it can’t be
RUSSEL: You were just a bastard in a basket, I used you to get contracts from God. Just a pretty face. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. Bastard in a Basket, BASTARD IN A BASKET
Ham: Father, I saw your nakedness, I know you could not have begat me, for you have nothing betwixt your thighs but the painted face of a bald man with protuberant teeth
RUSSEL: And now I am undone
RUSSEL dies, Ham, distraught, cries aloud, then commits Hari Kuri over RUSSEL’s limp form. Commodus flies down, and weeps. His tears fall onto the face of RUSSEL, but he is no phoenix, and RUSSEL does not stir. The shot lasts 8 minutes. Then black.
Fin.
Then, a voice, calling in the darkness, and the darkness could not comprehend it
RUSSEL: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
No comments:
Post a Comment