A Tourist's Guide to Gomorrah

Sitting on the periphery of the Dead Sea, the city of Gomorrah is a seaside town to rival those great metropoli of the modern age; Brighton, Blackpool, Whitby, et all. But as a family holiday destination Gomorrah does not reach the depths of iniquity that resorts such as Blackpool are wont to sink to.

Twinned with the sunny city of Sodom, this pair of polis are perfect places for pederasts and angel rapists of all shapes and sizes, from amateurs right up to those who have been up to the hilt in Gabriel himself. One might argue that angel rape, sodomy and other weekend activities are somehow ‘immoral’ but one must take into account local customs, and those who find themselves participating in local culture never come away complaining of anything except syphilis, HIV/AIDs and occasional rashes and burns, resultant from the sodomised angel‘s sudden burning flight to heaven. Remember to pack plenty of burn cream, and other substances that can function as lubricants during pedication of seraphic orifices ie consecration wine, blood, pre-extracted seminal fluid, etc.

The ‘one good man in town’ Lot functions as a justicar and sheriff, but in reality this merely means attempting to encourage the rape of young virgin daughters rather than the messengers of Yahweh. In a town with such a vivid history rooted in seraphic sodomy, he is a radical beyond par and is unlikely to achieve much in terms of public office.

Of course there are other attractions beyond raping entities that no not exist solely in the physical plane. Gambling, Vice, Fornication, Man-hunting, Baal Worship and all manner of father-son activities are available at low, low prices, but are all of the highest quality and overseen by experts with years of experience within their trade.

Astronomers endorsing rival resorts such as Blackpool claim that burning sulphur will soon be rained on the city from above, but such spurious allegations seem utterly baseless to any modern intellectual, as the idea of an entire city being expressly targeted by a highly moralistic deity appears ludicrous. Given his prior endorsement of so much rape and murder, it would make him in some ways a hypocrite by his actions, so such a far out theory can be easily discounted.